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#3 on Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs is Love and Belonging. The need to feel loved - to have a family and be in relationships: both professional and personal. Ultimately its the desire to feel wanted. Most of our youth is spent trying to find our place in this world, our families fill that void of love and belonging without us even realizing it. As we get older, we date to find a companion to share our lives with and fulfill that #3 need. In between relationships, we all have those people of the opposite sex, that are "fillers" An ex-boyfriend, past fling, someone you met while traveling, a guy friend; someone that may be a 'runner-up' or even third place in a relationship race, knowing they aren't what you want in a partner, but they will do for the time being. Their purpose: to keep you busy, until something better comes along. Mostly through text messaging, they are the ones that we turn to when lonely. So when do these fillers start to be a crutch, preventing us from using the opportunity to get stronger? Instead of relying on someone else to fill that need, what is wrong with trying to use the insecurity as a springboard to become a better person?

In my own experiences, nothing can ever come good from being entirely dependent on someone else to feel better. The art of becoming needy, is not something I want to capture. It takes a lot of strength and faith, but its worth it, to know you were able to control your own happiness - rather than needing someone else to do it for you. How to do it? Keep busy!! Get involved in church, take up a hobby, read, work out, take yoga, meet up with friends, travel - there are so many options! ..and who knows, you may even learn something about yourself in the process!

Top 5 Songs:

1. Best Thing I Never Had - Beyonce
2. She Ain't You - Chris Brown
3. Love Lost - Mac Miller
4. F**ckin Perfect - P!nk
5. What the Hell - Avril Lavigne

LBJ

If you consider yourself an athlete, than you love to compete. Some compete for the pure enjoyment - others compete to win. When you are at the professional level: salaries, endorsement deals, and recognition are dependent upon performance, in addition to, wins and loses. As fans, we love to watch our team win - which is why we pay high ticket prices or even splurge on season tickets. However, some sports enthusiasts feel that paying to watch someone play gives them an automatic opinion.

Take for instance LeBron James of the Miami Heat. Yes, I admit, I was one of the 9 million viewers who tuned in to see what team LeBron would choose - in the back of my mind knowing that he would be going to either the Heat or Bulls; but hoping he would choose to stay in his hometown. Was I disappointed when he chose Miami? Of course! How fair was it that LeBron and D-Wade would be on the same team? The next A-Rod and Jeter? Not to mention, how would this decision affect the city of Cleveland? The city whose greatest love had just broken up with them, and chosing to move on to greener pastures.

Then I thought about the situation, this wasn't a long term relationship - LeBron wasn't committed to Cleveland, they didn't put a "ring on it" or try to keep him. It was expected for him to stay, and they never thought he would leave them, even if he was unhappy. Life is short, and often we only get one shot - so who could blame a natural athlete, a guy that competes and wins for a living, to switch to a team where he gets to play with his best friend, and is currently competing for an NBA title. I certainly can't. I wish LeBron the best, and am definitely cheering for the Heat. Team Heat baby!

Top 5 Songs:

1. Rolling in the Deep - Adele
2. Man Down - Rihanna
3. A Kiss - Eminem and Royce Da 5'9
4. Motivation (remix) - Kelly Rowland/Jeremih/Lil Wayne
5. She Don't Want A Man - Curren$y

Settle? no way!

Why has society allowed a number to be an accepted standard for people to live by? Granted, I understand that you have to be 16 to drive, 18 to buy cigarettes or get into clubs, and 21 to drink and gamble; but graduate college by 22, own a house by 24, be married at 25 and have your first kid by 30 - and anyone over 30 and single, is considered over the hill and destined to be alone and miserable? Says who?!

I laugh to myself because I've never been one to follow anyone. I live my life according to my own rules, and why wouldn't I? I could care less what anyone says, I am going to make choices that I want and feel are best for me. I am not living for anyone else, I am living for me. Trust me, if I wanted to be in a serious relationship, I'd be in one right now (I know, cocky). If I wanted to be married, I would be married; but I don't ...not right now anyways. Sure, I want to eventually be married, with a successful job, 2.5 kids, living in a quaint house with a nicely manicured green lawn, playing bunko every Thursday - but not now. It's just not the right time, and I am not willing to settle to have it. Honestly, it is my time to be selfish. I am young and want to travel, experience things because I don't have 'baggage' to hold me down. I am slowly checking things off my pre-marriage bucket list - and close to being finished, but there are still a few things remaining. When I have a family, they will be my first priority, and I don't want to have regrets, wishing I would have done this or that, before planting my roots.

Plus, I have been there to comfort MANY of my friends who have already divorced, left raising their kids, alone, because they rushed into marriage. Not to say that I am against getting married early, my parents married when they were 20 years old and are still going strong, 36 years later. They are the exception. My parents are my role model, and the sanctity of marriage means something; so with the divorce rates over 60% - I will be damn sure I marry the right person. The guy I wanna spend FORever on.

To be honest, I really haven't found anyone that knocks my socks off; and when I do I am sure my wants and desires will change. Who knows? Through all of my adventures, I may find a guy, just as wild to run with :)

Top 5 Songs:
1. Mean - Taylor Swift
2. I Need A Doctor - Eminem
3. Throwed Off - Treal Lee
4. Twisted - Keith Sweat
5. I Get Lonely - Drake

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know your worth

It's funny when you think of Arizona, because the first thing that comes to mind is the heat. I've lived in Arizona my whole life, and I will be the first one to admit that the heat in the summer is ridiculous. It is truly like an oven and you only go outside when its absolutely necessary; but as I see the devastation in Alabama and Louisiana from hurricanes and tornadoes; or the ice storms in the north east parts of the nation, I feel guilty complaining about the heat. We don't have earthquakes, tornadoes, mud slides, hurricanes, tsunamis - we just have high temperatures. To be honest, if you have a pool, its really not that bad because AZ pool parties are pretty sweet.

But with any warm weather, less clothes becomes apparent. Keeping cool often turns into an excuse for girls to wear almost nothing, and society being okay with it. Like shorts two inches shorter are really going to keep you that much cooler. I know my male friends are probably saying that I'm crazy and to shut it, but its hard to see girls expose themselves to that degree; because ultimately it affects the reputation of ALL girls.

So does wearing barely any clothes mean "easy" or confidence? That is something that can be debated. It's funny because I consider myself a fashionable person, but I don't let my clothes wear me. I've always had the philosophy that if you are going to show leg, then cover the top portion and accessorize; and if you are going to wear a low cut shirt, then cover your legs and wear heels to balance everything out. Showing both is too much, and leaves little to the imagination. I've never respected girls who walk around with 'assets' hanging out, exposing them for the world to see. Why? Do you need attention that bad? Because I promise you - you won't receive the kind of attention you deserve, you're only gonna get the douchebags - that don't necessarily have the best intentions. Guys want someone they can take home to thier Mom, not someone that could be found on the streets of Van Buren.

Walk in to room with your head held high, a smile across your face, and your shoulders held back. You could be wearing work out clothes and have your hair tied in a pony tail, but you will radiate confidence and have the attention of every guy in the room.

Top 5 songs:
1. All of the Lights - Remix
2. Get Me Everything (tonight) - NE-Yo
3. Oh My - DJ Drama/Wiz Khalifa
4. The Kid Frankie - Wiz Khalifa
5. ET Remix - Katy Perry/Kanye West

Pre-marriage bucket list

Recently I was inspired to make a bucket list, so I brainstormed ideas with my best friend and together we created a kick ass list. Then I got to thinking, what about a pre-marriage bucket list? I want a list of things that I need to do before settling down and putting my significant other and family needs before my own.



Lets just say, I have quite a few accomplished already... (skydiving on the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii 10/11/2010)



- Go Skydiving
- Backpack/travel Europe
- Celebrate NYE in Vegas
- Attend a Vatican Mass given by the Pope
- Go on a cruise
- Visit an Irish Pub (in Ireland)
- Run to the top of the Statue of Liberty
- Put my feet in the water and sand of the Great Barrier Reef (Australia)
- Party in South Beach
- Run a 1/2 marathon
- Ziplining in Costa Rica



Top 5 Songs:
1. Ain't Thinkin Bout You - Chris Brown
2. Don't You Wanna Be My Neighbor - Asher Roth
3. Roman's Revenge - Nicki Minaj
4. Fall For Your Type - Jamie Foxx/Drake
5. Start It Up - Lloyd Banks

Soulmates.... real or really fake?

Currently I am single..(and ready to mingle..hahaha) as each one of my relationships comes to an end, its hard not to throw a pity party for yourself. With every guy, the phrase "the one" makes an appearance - I mean I wouldn't be with someone that didn't have the qualities that I look for in a future partner.. but things happen, the relationship takes it course - and then you are left picking up the broken pieces. People often ask me if I believe in a soul mate..hmm.. do I believe that there is only one person meant for you? Well, it's a romantic idea. Its fun to think that one day, you will be so connected to someone, that you will fall helplessly in love with them, and be together forever. I mean, that is what fairy-tales are based up on - right? As little girls, we watch every Disney movie - the girl falling in love with a handsome, perfect guy (most of the time a prince) so in reality Disney gave us high expectations.

Only one person in a world of billions and billions of people, is meant for me? Well I better get traveling, and make it happen..otherwise, its kind of depressing to think like that! I am one to say that things happen for a reason. God puts certain people in your life for a purpose..whether its to love you, hurt you, support you, to make you cry - with each circumstance, one is able to grow and become a better person. I truly believe that there will be a moment that you walk into a place, bump into someone, get to talking, maybe date..and so on. That one person, who if you would have shown up 10 minutes later - wouldn't have met - that's fate. That, I believe in.

Top 5 songs:
1. Love Bites - Def Leppard
2. Rock That Body - Black Eyed Peas
3. Superman - Eminem
4. I Get Around - Tupac
5. Neutron Star Collision - Muse

B.F.F.

On this day, my oldest and dearest friend was born. I can't help but reflect on how lucky I have been to have her in my life. I don't have a childhood memory that doesn't include the both of us and our crazy adventures. From riding our bikes miles to get the biggest cinnamon rolls at Oprandy's - to nights of laughing and giggling talking about absolutely nothing - life seemed so easy then. There wasn't the distraction of computers, or internet. We never had to deal with facebook friends; or the vulnerability of instant messaging or ipods. We were able to focus on our friendship, and build a foundation - which is probably why she and I are still close to this day. Happy Birthday Becky..I love you!

US Weekly For The Common Folks...

Hi, my name is Kourtenay, and I am a magazine junkie. I love my fix of US Weekly, OK, Shape, Glamour, Cosmo, and that's just to name a few. I know I'm not the only one to fork over the $10.00 a week to support the gossip habit. Board any plane, and you will see 1/3 of the passengers reading magazines they just picked up from the travel store. It's definitely a guilty pleasure, but I am starting to think that people, including myself, have become almost "obsessed" with the lives of others. We look at celebrities, and mimic their clothing, their hair, and ultimate lifestyle.

So where is the line that separates reality from a fantasy life? Thankfully we don't have a photographer documenting our lives, we don't need one, we are the photographer. I've got three words for you, Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter. Facebook has the motto: "Facebook helps you connect and share with the people in your life." They are absolutely right. We join these free websites with the hope of re-connecting with others. I think our initial intentions are pure. With the ease of the search box at the top of the page, you can instantly find former classmates, work friends or even those you met while on vacation. Whoever said networking was a bad thing?

But sometimes it’s the curiosity that can be overpowering. In many incidences the three powerhouses, contribute to our own version of gossip magazines; almost like an US Weekly for the Common Folks. (This is also known as Facebook Stalking). Don’t act like you don’t do it, because everyone does it. Sometimes we can’t help but ‘wonder’ how old boyfriends, friends, or former classmates are doing. We have instant access to their photo albums, read their latest postings, and instantly become updated on their lives – without them even knowing. It’s kind of creepy when you think about it, but it’s something that we all expose ourselves to, if we choose to be a part of these websites.

This free entertainment doesn’t come without a price. You cringe when checking your phone because it blinks ten new text messages and seven missed calls, one being from your mother. You remember that load of laundry and trip to the grocery store that needed to be done today - will now have to wait until tomorrow because you just spent the last three hours on Facebook. So when is it time to log off and live life? (Probably never, because most have these sites installed as applications on their cell phones) Unfortunately, some aren’t willing to go a day, much less six hours without checking their Facebook or Tweeting, but to be honest, I think it’s necessary to try and limit yourself to the amount of time spent on the computer. There aren't enough Facebook posts, or Tweets for that matter, to equal a real face to face conversation, with a friend that needs you to listen or be there for them. Spending time with someone is part of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Theory. We need to interact with people, and engage in real conversations. It's human nature.

Top 5 Songs:
1. Super High - Rick Ross
2. Pushin It - The Game
3. Hey Lover - LL Cool J
4. Dynamite - Taio Cruz
5. OMG - Usher

“One good thing about music, when it hits- you feel no pain”

Anyone that knows me, can tell you that I LOVE music - always have. I can't even get in a car - without calling "dibs" on the radio. There's just something about music, its my drug. Music can play on so many emotions - from laughing to crying; and I think its partly due to the fact it triggers certain memories. Music is like a scrapbook, when any song comes on the radio -- you can't help but remember a time in your life when that song played. Whether it be driving in the car with your closest friends, a first kiss, a dance, an argument, or even a time when you had to say goodbye..music can take you back, without having to look at a single picture.

To me, music is soothing. When times are tough, there is nothing I want more than to get in my car, roll down the windows and blast the radio. Even though I have a special love for hip hop (I'm ghetto, I know) some of my favorite nights include going to the piano bar and belting out jams by Def Leppard, Bon Jovi, and Journey. Who doesn't know the lyrics to 'Living On A Prayer,' or at least the chorus? When you look around a piano bar, people are randomly grouped together laughing, smiling, cheering and (drunkingly) singing at the top of their lungs. Inhibitions are left at the door. No one is ashamed of their voice, no one is holding back, its people coming together to enjoy good music. All because songs can do that to you. Out of all the experiences in life, the ones that leave an impression with us, are the ones that we continue to hold on to throughout the years; some just happen to be attached to a song.

Top 5 Songs:
1. Lose My Mind: Young Jeezy/Drake
2. Tangerine - Big Boi
3. Love the Way You Lie - Eminem
4. Ridaz - Eminem
5. Whatcha Saying Tip - T.I.

Life is Like a Roller Coaster

So I have to admit, I've developed a fascination for roller coasters. I love the rush, I love the fear of not knowing when it's going to drop or turn, the speed - basically the entire adrenaline rush. The higher, more dangerous roller coaster - the better. I wish I could take this same approach to my life. I'm not always as enthusiastic when dealing with unexpectedness, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. In fact, instead of being the fearless one in line, I tend to cower away..afraid of being hurt.

I've lived the majority of my life, wanting to please. I'm non-confrontational. I want to get a long with everyone, and when things don't work out like that - I try to be the peacemaker and fix whatever problem there may be. My brother is always telling me that I am way too nice, and I need to get mean; but that's just not me. I've had my heart broken more than a few times, dealt with rejection in the work force, relationships, and friendships. I definitely have the cuts, bruises, and scars to prove it. But when I reflect back on things, they don't seem as bad now - as they did then. A few incidences are even quite comical. Which makes me wonder, why did I let it affect me so deeply? I am stronger than that; and I know that now.

As Lil Wayne said. "Life is like a roller coaster and then it drops, but what should I scream for, this is my theme park."

Life is going to be a series of highs and lows - but ultimately we have to take control of our own lives and be willing to learn from our mistakes, heartache, rejection, and even haters. Without these experiences, even though they may be painful at the time, we wouldn't know what we are truly capable of, or how strong we really are.

5 Most Played Songs:
1. So Bad - Eminem
2. Teach Me How to Dougie - Cali Swag District
3. If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys
4. The Fire Remix - The Roots
5. The Best I Ever Had - Drake